Posts Tagged ‘ex-wife’


Calvin and Hobbes has been my favorite comic strip most of my adult life.  Although I never had an imaginary best friend, my attitude toward life was just like Calvin’s:  Question everything, get into mischief as often as possible, and make the best out of whatever situation you find yourself in.  When I saw this on the Calvin and Hobbes Facebook page today, I had to send it out to my team at work, and I printed it out, posting the strip in my cube.

So much in life has to do with plan B’s, and sometimes, as in this strip, the plan B’s are just as good as plan A.  My life has been a series of plan B’s; the earliest I can think of would be learning to live without my mom at the age of 8.  Then going to college to be a naval officer was another plan A — plan B was volunteering for submarine duty when I dropped out of college.  When my ex-wife’s and my plan A for having children didn’t pan out, our plan B was adopting and raising my second-cousin, Kayla.  She has been a real blessing in my life.  When plan A for my marriage blew up in divorce, I was faced with my most recent series of plan B’s in my personal life and finances.  I’m still sorting things out.  Plan B at work seems to be taking me back out on the road, so I can make more money and pursue the second great love of my life, travel.  Plan B in my finances has taken me to the point of filing bankruptcy, to get rid of the debt I’d built up while married.  My hearing is next week, so I’ll see how this plan works out.  There may be other plan B’s to follow.  Then in my personal life, there are a couple of plan B’s in progress.  Will I become a loner or will someone I know accept my problems and my love for travel, and love me in spite of it?  So far, the first seems to be the most likely path, but one never knows….

That’s the optimist in me — always hoping for the best outcome.  That was Calvin.  Although he was forced to go to school and take baths, he tried to make the best of it.



I wish I still wrote poetry, something I haven’t done since college.  Why?  Sometimes I feel melancholy, and I feel only a poem could capture my feelings without coming across as whining.  But Wayne, things are looking up for you! — I guess.  Some things are looking up, like traveling again in a couple of months.  I am so looking forward to again seeing other parts of the country.  Lately I find myself daydreaming a lot, picturing myself in Tennessee, New England, or California.  I’m either driving down the Interstate or eating in a barbecue joint or diner.


But, before I can hit the road, I’ll have to leave a few things behind.  First — On Sunday, I’ll be giving my cat back to my ex-wife — he’s been my little companion for over a year.  Having my ex-wife’s cat this week keeping him company has me wishing I had two cats again, instead of soon-to-be none.  Second — I’ll need to leave behind some coworkers or one in particular, who I’ve grown used to talking with everyday.  I’ll most likely never see them again (or rarely).  Going on the road will mean taking up an isolated existence, carrying on work-related conversations with a myriad of strangers, but never really interacting with anyone on a personal level.  These things are bringing me down.


And there are my financial woes, still hanging over my head.  Sometimes they seem like they’ll never go away.  It’s become the norm for my checking account to be overdrawn before payday weekend is even over, and I have less food in the apartment than I had while in college — at least back then I could get government cheese and peanut butter.  Pardon me — I’m committing an unpardonable sin, according to my ex-in-laws, talking openly about having no money.  One should wear a brave face and quietly starve to death, I guess.  I’m not starving, but one driver for taking the new field service job is that my company will pay for my meals while I’m on the road and I won’t need to eat ramen noodles every day.  Money problems bring me down.


Over the last year, I’ve grown comfortable in my habits and rituals, and changing jobs will mean upheaving them — but it’s something I need, to get moving forward again.  In the midst of my melancholy, I know there can be positive change, and I’m looking forward to the day when I can look back on this time like the days when I was failing out of college, and say “Boy, I’m glad that’s over with.”


Well, since I’m going to be gone for 9 days at a time when I start my field service job, I decided my kitty Neo might be better off going back to my ex-wife’s house and living full-time with my daughter.  My ex-wife was willing to have him back, so instead of spending so much time alone, Neo will have three other cats to keep him company.  I won’t mention the dog.  Neo might not like hearing that….

To lower the shock for Neo of transplanting him into a house full of cats he hasn’t seen for some time, I’ve brought one of the cats to my place, Scotty.  Some of you reading my blog may remember I took care of Scotty for a few weeks last summer when he was a little kitten.

Scotty Then

This was Scotty back then.  Now he’s twice as big as Neo, I swear.  When we first brought Scotty in today, he surprised me by being the hissy cat.  that’s normally Neo’s role to play.  Neo just followed Scotty around while Scotty explored.  Now that Scotty is familiar with the apartment, he’s begun to settle in and try to win over Neo.  He’s even striking the same pose above near Neo and giving his unthreatening squeaky meow.  But now, Neo’s become the hissy kitty.  If history is any indication, Neo will be hissy until tomorrow and then he and Scotty will once again be buddies like they were before.

scotty now

I’m planning to keep Scotty here for the next week so he and Neo will form a bond.  Then when both of them go to the house next weekend, Neo will have a friend in his new, strange environment.  One other cat in the house should be familiar with Neo — Leeloo, once the hissiness is over.  I’m hoping Neo’s move will be an uneventful one.  I’ll miss having him around, but I think he’ll be better off with company.  He really is a sociable cat.