Posts Tagged ‘dreams’

Well, it means I’m one day closer to the weekend.

Dreamt last night one of the cats threw up on the floor.  When I woke up this morning, I puttered around the bedroom a few minutes — and then I heard the familiar retching sound the little cat makes when she vomits.  Only found one little pile of undigested food when I opened the door, and both cats were staring at its freshness.  I know it hadn’t been the cause of my dream.  Spooky.  I’m tired of cleaning up cat puke.



I used to blog a lot about my dreams.  Over the past year I’ve dreamed a lot (every night!), but because I haven’t been blogging, those dreams are lost forever.  So, here’s a quick note about what my dreams have been like for the last couple of weeks.

Last week, I’d have to say I was having stress dreams.  Being back on a submarine, unable to do my job for having been out of the Navy so long.  Walking down stairs into the basement of an old haunted building where ghosts keep touching me.  Watching a passenger plane flying overhead crash to the ground.  Standing next to my car when a tornado blows through.

This week, the dreams have been more about making journeys.  Running effortlessly in a cross country race.  Driving in a car.  This morning I dreamt I instructed my daughter on how to use a GPS unit.

No dreams about having a love life, though.  😦


I was dreaming I was at a dinner party, talking with several coworkers and I began having a heated discussion with one of the women at the table.  She said I’d missed my skinny chance to ask her out once, and I challenged her to tell me when she’d ever given me a skinny chance….

Then I woke up.  It was 7am, but I didn’t want to get up yet.  I thought a while about the dream and my thoughts drifted to the movie Searching for a Friend at the End of the World.  I thought about who I’d want to spend my last few days with.  Of course I would want to be with my daughter, but what grown woman?  I know who I’d choose, and wondered who she’d choose.  Based on how our relationship had developed after we’d met, I figured her choice wouldn’t be me.  It was depressing to think that at the end of the world, I’d be on my own.

I fell asleep for a while.  When I woke up, it was time to get up for church, but I lay there in bed, refusing to crawl out from the covers.  When I woke up again, it was time for my daughter to get up for church, but I still lay there.  For a change, I decided I wouldn’t be waking her up.  Someone has sold her on the idea that Jesus’ story has no meaning for her life.  Lately I’ve wondered how forcing her to get up to sit in a pew and listen to something she’s closed her mind to would help her appreciate Jesus.  I hope she’ll realize one day how beautiful His message is, but for now, she’s listening to someone else.

I got ready for church and left her a note saying where I’d be.  At church, I had my usual two cups of coffee, so I was all jittery (as usual) by the time the sermon started.  This Sunday, one of the congregation talked about the importance of community.  He talked about how he’d remained part of the church community because he didn’t want to end up alone.  Sigh — didn’t really make me feel any better about being on my own, but his sermon was a good one that made me think.

Well, I went home and woke up my daughter.  We had lunch and I took her home to her mom’s.  I took a long way back to my apartment — one of the things I like doing when I’m feeling down is driving.  I watched the Chiefs game at home.  Their victory made me feel a little better.  After the game, I worked out.  And then after showering, I started watching the Denver game.  At half-time, I drove to Applebee’s and had the Fiesta Chicken Chop Salad, one of my new favorite dishes.  After dinner, I drove to the grocery store and bought a few things.  Then I returned home to finish watching the Broncos lose their game.  By bedtime, I was back to my cheerful self.

Usually, being on my own doesn’t bother me  — I’ve even arranged my life so my chances of meeting and spending time with new friends would be nil.  I’d rather deal with the occasional pang of loneliness than the recurring beat-down from rejection or even worse, never being able to tell where I stand with someone.  Relationships have caused me pain, and they’re something I just don’t want in my life right now.  I’ve written earlier, posing the question whether I was a rock and an island.  I think for the time being, I’ve become both.


Good God!

Posted: June 11, 2013 in Random Thoughts
Tags: , , , ,


I was with a friend in an unfamiliar house.  I’d never seen this place before.  We picked up some boxes in the living room and carried them into a room off to the side.  It was dark in the house, but I could tell this was a large room.  We walked by a wardrobe, and I could swear I saw its door handles move.  We set our boxes on a couch across the room.

Suddenly the room was brightly lit, and I could see there was a second floor, and we were in an atrium or commons area like that in a school building where I’d gone to church.  I noticed my friend was on the second floor, looking down at me.  Now this might be a little graphic for some, but I had to use the restroom, and since there was a creek and pond in the middle of a diorama in this commons area, I began to urinate in the water.  A class of students walked by and I tried hiding what I was doing by turning my back to them and walking away — but I didn’t stop what I was doing until my bladder was empty.  I sprayed pee all over the green fields and pastures in the diorama as I walked toward the door through which I’d entered the room.

Back in the living room, I stood near my friend, and saw a wadded piece of paper on the floor move as if it were blowing in the wind.  But there was no wind.  I thought this place might be haunted, and sat on the floor in the middle of the room next to my friend.  We began talking about spirits, and I recounted how I’d seen the wardrobe door handles move.  Then from that side room, which was dark again like when I’d entered it before,  I began to see a soft white glow reflecting on the open door.  The glow began to brighten.  We looked at each other with curious expressions on our faces.  “Listen,” I said, as a whirring sound began to emanate from the room.  The volume increased until it almost deafened me.  The sound suddenly ceased and the light went out.  I thought that was something….

I turned my head to the left and began to see a soft glow in the living room next to the front door.  I nudged my friend.  The glow began to grow brighter as it began moving toward us.  I was becoming excited, but not afraid.  Within seconds, the glow grew so bright it began to blind me in the darkness, and the light grew into the shape of a kerosene lantern, swinging in the air as if someone were carrying it as they walked.  The lamp quickly closed the distance to us, and I saw an arm carrying the lantern, and then began to sense the shape of a person.  The light passed through me and stopped between my friend and I.  There was a person, or rather many people, as the shape holding the lantern kept morphing into one person, then another.

Suddenly the living room was brightly lit, as the other room had become when I was in there.  This time, the spirit holding the light became many people who walked into an old-time western town and assumed roles of shopkeepers, blacksmiths and farmers.  I focused on one man who wore a strange cowboy hat holding a block and tackle under the man’s chin.  The man climbed to the peak of a barn roof, bent over and lifted something from the ground as he straightened up.  A mountain began growing from the floor, which had changed into a pasture while I’d watched the town take shape.  As the mountain grew and edged me out my place on the pasture, I noticed the word Santa followed by a name I was unable to make out before the mountain tipped me backwards off my feet.

When I recovered myself, standing up, I saw the mountain had actually become a massive chair carved out the base of a huge tree like a redwood or Douglas fir.  The seat on this throne was covered with leather, and the class from the other room began climbing onto it.  The wood was a rich, deep, dark brown.  The arms were carved up and in to a peak at the back, which had been carved into the shape of a face.  I followed the class, climbing into the seat.

The throne had a name, El Madre.  The wood came alive and the face at the top of the chair back stretched forward toward me.  The face began to speak to me in a deep, overpowering Native-American voice.  The throne began to rotate.  The face said to me, “You will never understand me because you have no trees.”

I looked at the land in front of the throne, and the land was bare, like a desert, or even more like the surface of Mars.  The throne continued to turn, and the landscape began to sprout ponderosa pines.  My friend was sitting in one of the tree tops.  The face said to me in a voice that made my chest shake, “You will never understand me because you have no animals.”  True, there were no birds in the tree branches or animals in the forest.

The throne turned toward a hill with a steep cliff on one side.  I saw a bison standing above the cliff.  There’s an animal, I thought.  I jumped from the throne toward the buffalo and grabbed its back.  I pulled it from the top of the cliff as I fell to the foot of the throne.  My friend jumped out of the tree top.  The seat of the throne turned from my view as I threw the bison’s head to the ground next to my friend’s feet.  But this wasn’t a bison at all, but a buffalo skin.

I still don’t have an animal, I thought.  I will never understand him.


So what do you think?

I think I was simultaneously dreaming about caring for the earth, and God.

Why the earth?  I polluted it when urinating, the earth was scorched, without animals, and when I saw an animal, I sought to bring it down.

Why God?  First was the Spirit in the house, showing itself by moving things.  Then there was the light held by the changing spirit.  Many people created from the spirit built a community.  The name of the mountain that appeared said “Saint something” in Spanish.  The name of the throne “El Madre” meant Mother, but had the masculine article in front of the word, meaning Mother was both feminine and masculine, like biblical references to God.  I saw my friend a couple of times before I did something harmful to the earth.  The spirit stood between me and the friend at one point.  The friend represents sin, I think.  And finally, the living throne told me I would never understand him.  I don’t understand God.

But that doesn’t keep me from trying.


I am physically fighting with a man and woman who have different beliefs than I do.  Not that I am trying to change their beliefs, but they oppose mine and are trying to prevent me from passing them on to my daughter.  We are wrestling and snapping wet towels.  I am about to rush the woman when her husband steps in between us and rapidly begins pushing me backwards.  But I overcome my surprise and begin pushing back.  Then suddenly, grabbing him by his shirt, I lift him up and flip him over my head.  I focus on the woman for just a moment, before hearing a loud bang behind me, from the man landing next to a coffee table and banging his head on the table.  I turn around quickly and see him struggling to get untangled from the legs of the coffee table.  He had a large bump on his head, and about a two-inch cut running across the bump.  A small amount of blood is trickling from the wound.

Suddenly I’ve forgotten why we’d been fighting and rush over to aid the man.  A different woman appears from nowhere and begins giving the man first aid.  I am suddenly concerned at the man’s well-being, though just a moment earlier we’d been enemies.  He is a human being, after all, and I care about humans in general.  When they’re hurt, I want to help them.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, the picture of the cat staring at the stars indicates I’m writing about a dream.  In this dream, I think I tapped into a long-forgotten memory from my early childhood, when my sister and I wrestled over some disagreement we’d had.  I know I used my knowledge of judo at least twice, flipping her behind me and tossing her onto our coffee table.  She went to the emergency room twice for cuts on her head.  I believe the woman appearing from nowhere is a memory of my mother rushing into the living room to take care of my sister after one of these incidents.  I’ve never remembered the details of these times — just remembered being in trouble for having done them.

Here is another dream I had last night (this morning before waking up).  I am sitting outside with a my sweetheart, cuddling and watching a movie.  I don’t think we were in a drive-in because we weren’t in a car.  We pressed our faces together, and a noticed her nose and cheek were cold.  She’s in an amorous mood and wants to make out.  I stall and put her off, because I don’t feel comfortable about that sort of stuff in public places.  She gets a little angry with me, but I am who I am — modest.