Will I or Won’t I?

Posted: April 21, 2013 in Random Thoughts
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In the past, I’ve blogged about the recurring themes in my dreams.  I don’t recall if I mentioned one of which I’m now becoming aware — being in a store or shopping mall.  I’ve dreamed about entering several malls and into department stores, walking through the stores’ merchandise, and leaving without buying anything.  I’ve had some dreams in which I’ve worked in the stores, like last night.  When I first became aware of my dream, I was leaving the store, behind a woman.  So she wouldn’t think I was following her, I decided to straighten out the shopping carts at the entrance before walking out behind her.  I stood outside waiting for a bus to take me home.  When it arrived, I climbed aboard.  I don’t recall much about this ride, but I’m remembering other bus rides I’ve taken in dreams — this must be another theme.  I have the sense about this dream’s bus ride that there were animals, like on a circus train.  I ride for a while, then get off in front of one of my childhood homes, the same one I wrote about a few days ago, having the two bathrooms.

I’m thinking in the dream I’ve only come home for a few minutes — that I need to change my clothes and head back out the door.  So I change, and I go back outside.  As I’m walking down the driveway toward the street, I glance back at the house, and I’m amazed about how big the trees have grown.  Trees tower over the neighborhood.  We’d had two sycamores in the front yard, but the person who’d bought the house from my parents had cut them down.  In the dream, a huge, towering tree had grown out of the stump of one of these sycamores.  In fact, the stump had grown about six feet out of the ground, itself, so the huge, towering tree was actually rooted in the stump, six feet off the ground.  I was amazed, and wondered if it had some meaning.  I had the feeling the stump represented my first mother, who’d died when she was a young woman and the huge tree growing out of her was her family tree — her descendants.  Anyway, I walked to the street and remembered the buses go both ways down the street.  I decided to walk across the street, to go left.

But suddenly, I found I was standing in an unfamiliar kitchen.  My mom, dad and sister were the only ones there. It was breakfast time and I was getting a bowl of cereal to eat, standing at the kitchen counter.  We were discussing Snow White.  My dad insisted there were 40 dwarfs in the story, and I insisted he was thinking of Rip Van Winkle, not Snow White, because there were only seven dwarfs in her story.  I finished pouring milk into the bowl of cereal and turned, to sit at the table.  But I split into two people.  The younger son joined his family at their table, and the older son of the present day (me) sat down at his own table.  While I ate my cereal, I considered what I would do if I had the choice to go back to being the boy and reliving my life or stay at my table and finish eating the cereal, what would I do?

I’m thinking that in spite of the painful things that have happened in my life, this is where I’d rather be.  So here I am, blogging about the dream instead of sitting in the 1960’s at my parents’ table….


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